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The
Fall from the Irish Cliffs
In
the weeks of adjusting to my new home and surroundings, thoughts of going
to the cliffs were put on hold for a while. I was busy getting to
know Newbridge and the Church family. I fell in love with all of
them right from the start, and loved serving the pastor and his family
(PJ, Elizabeth, and their son Sean). I loved them all like my own
family and life settled down into routine, until about mid February.
I had a very hard couple of weeks -- you know those weeks were everything
goes wrong, and God seems to be a million miles away. It was as if
God was asking me "if you never hear from me again, is knowing me
enough?" Well, to say the least, my answer was a resounding
"NO!" I needed to hear from God so badly that I was ready to drop
everything and get lost in Europe somewhere if I didn't hear from
Him. It was a feeling beyond anything I had ever felt -- something
so far beyond me that there was nothing I could do to shake it. All
I could do was sit there in my front room and quiet my soul before God
crying out to Him not to leave me. After
the night was over, I was waiting for my ride when one of the worship
leaders, a lady, came up and asked if she could pray for me. I don't
remember everything she said; but one thing she said stayed with me:
"God loves when I worship Him -- that I shouldn't hold back in worship,
because when I worship and dance others are freed to enter into
worship." While
AJ and Jake were in Ireland, I got to help show them around and introduce
them to different people. We had some good conversations in the
kitchen, over tea, the first few nights -- just sharing about this and
that. The day before they were leaving, one of my Irish friends,
(Paddy), AJ, and I decided to take a fast trip to the west coast of
Ireland, to Galway. Paddy was from there so he was the ideal
"tour-guide." The plan was to make connections for the outreach, and
stop off to see the cliffs while we were there. Naturally I was
thrilled and couldn't wait to finally see the
cliffs! February
20, 2002 -- We left Newbridge while it was still dark, wanting to get an
early start on the day. We watched the sun rise over the green,
rolling, Irish countryside -- It was breathtaking. I will forever remember
that day as beautiful -- a breathtaking day, when God's creation just left
me speechless. It was also bitter cold, and as we stepped out of the
car at the cliffs, the wind bit at our faces. Yet, I didn't even
care; it was so beautiful -- all I could think of was getting to the top
of that cliff. I
ran up the trail, camera in hand, leaving the lads behind. By the
time the boys reached the top I had almost shot a whole roll of film.
My excitement was contagious, and the guys seemed to be caught up in
worshiping God for his amazing beauty as much as I was. I tossed my
camera to Paddy and lay down in the grass. There was a little slope
perfect for rolling down. I'm not sure what was going through my
mind other than living that moment. I did think to ask AJ to take a
picture; so I could send it to a friend - every time I talked to this
friend she asked me if I had rolled down a hill in Ireland for her,
yet. So I did. (Understatement
of the year!) I
laid down in that grass and the next thing I knew I was waking up in ICU
with a tube down my throat -- I was laying flat on my back in the ICU of
Galway University Hospital in Galway, Ireland. I had fallen off the
cliff -- 50 feet, onto the rocks below. The ground where I had
rolled crumbled and gave way underneath me -- apparently due to
erosion. I hit the ground between two rocks, on a small bed of sand
(about from the top of my head to my pelvis). Rocks were
everywhere. The beach was covered in them; not little rocks either,
big ones! And I fell between them on the only sand there was.
My face was split open on impact from above my left eye through my top
lip. I'm talking split open! Nose hanging and blood
everywhere. I woke up so swollen I couldn't open my eyes, every bone
in my face was fractured -- a broken nose, all my front teeth gone -- a
crushed heal, broken knee, fractured and dislocated hip, my leg in
traction (screws in my knee attached to ropes with weights at the bottom,
pulling my leg straight), my arm and both wrists in casts. Not that
I figured all these injuries out right in that first waking moment.
I think my first words were something like "my foot". Yet even with
all my injuries, I was in incredible shape, considering the fall I
took. The rescue team and police chief who were on the scene when I
fell were amazed that I was still alive. I have no memory of the
fall, or being at the bottom of that cliff; though I was told that I was
conscience the whole time. I was aware enough to be able to
communicate what hurt most through a series of hand squeezes. The
rescue team took great care in stabilizing me at the fall site, and even
though they took their time, they were still able to get me to the
hospital quickly. Because of their speed, the doctors were able to
fix my hip before it would have become permanently painful. I
slipped into a coma after arriving at the hospital and began the 24-hour
fight for my life. Though I didn't even know I was fighting -- I
didn't feel pain, all I felt was complete peace. During those hours I have a few hazy memories
or dreams. Someone must have brought worship music into the room (or
I was hearing it in my head) because as the song "Hallelujah -- your love
is amazing" played, God gave me a vision. This vision carried me
through all those long moments in the hospital that followed.
I
see myself standing at the top of the cliff. My hands are raised and
I am worshiping and dancing completely free -- heaven was so close I could
taste it. I could literally taste the color green -- life, it filled
me and overwhelmed me. Nothing could have brought me back -- nothing
mattered but being in God's presence. I wanted to eat the color
green. Then there was a shift, and I walked up and looked over the edge of
the cliff. I saw myself at the bottom in a pool of blood, and I turned
around and walked away. I again started to worship and dance before God.
And it was as if God was telling me, "You're going to be fine, you're
going to worship and dance again, and you're going to
live." Although,
it was amazing to watch as my body "healed itself". Literally, I looked
better everyday. Family, friends, doctors and nurses alike
were amazed at the speed of my recovery. From the beginning Doctors
were saying I would be in the hospital for a minimum of eight weeks.
I was out in five! During
those beginning moments, and in the days, and weeks, that followed, the
presence of God filled that hospital room with a peace that surpasses all
understanding. The word of God says that perfect love casts out all
fear. It's true! From the very beginning I had no fear -- just
perfect peace that God was in control and that He was holding me in the
palm of his hand. There is a freedom that comes when we begin to
realize that our lives are not our own; and that we truly are not in
control of them. It's a freedom that no one can begin to know until
they begin to release their hold on their lives. "He
who surrenders his life to Christ will live even though he dies". To
surrender means to give one self up, to yield. Therefore we don't
hold our lives; they are God's to do with them what He wills. Be it
walking through the healing after falling off a cliff, raising eight
children to walk with God, or just staying put while he smoothes out the
rough edges of our lives. Whatever HE WILLS; it's our job to yield,
and it's in the yielding that the peace and freedom
comes. Sometimes
it's easy to surrender, like when I lay in that hospital room.
Things were so far out of my hands that there was little else to do but
give up to whatever He willed. Sometimes it's harder, like now when
I'm waiting on God for what step to take next. Yet hard or easy, the
truth doesn't change -- we are still told to yield; and that in that
yielding, the freedom will come. Those
who wait on (bind themselves to) the Lord will find new strength.
They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow
weary. They will walk and not faint.
(Isaiah 40:31) To bind means to fasten together - to wrap
around. I am reminded of a dream I had a few months back of a
tornado approaching. There was a huge storm and a huge twister coming across the land, destroying everything in its path that wasn't tied fast to the foundation under it. I then saw these huge thick leather straps and people wrapping them around themselves and binding themselves to what seemed to be the ground. As the storm passed over, though shaken, those who were tied "to the ground" lived to walk away. Though touched by the storm they remained. Jesus
is our foundation and when we bind ourselves to Him, no matter what storm,
no matter how big, He gives us the strength we need to get through
it. When we are bound to Christ, nothing can tear us away.
There is no struggle too big or too hard. Christ lifts us above the
problems just like an eagle soars above the ground, His strength carries
us. I
spent five weeks and one day in the Irish hospitals. Four and a half
weeks of that time I lay flat on my back, totally dependent on nurses and
visitors for everything. I could do nothing on my own - I couldn't
even eat without some one feeding me! Not to mention going to the
bathroom! Anyone who has spent any amount of time bedridden can
relate. I can tell you it is an incredible humbling, vulnerable
experience. Yet, God abundantly poured out His grace on me during
those days. I was blessed with a private room for most of my
hospital stay -- most of the people in Irish hospitals stay in the ward
with at least five others. During my entire hospitalization, not a
day went by that I didn't have visitors. Some I knew, some I'd met
briefly, and some I didn't know at all. They all came to witness the
miracle God did and was doing in my life, and to bless me with the support
and prayers of the body of Christ. It was truly amazing and I've
never seen anything like it. Within
hours of my fall the word went out, literally, all over Ireland and the
world!! Ten months later I'm still hearing about churches that were
praying for me. I will never understand the why this happened; yet I
know that in falling off that cliff, I impacted and touched more lives
then I ever could have in years of serving there in Ireland. God
turned something the devil meant for evil and brought good out of it --
and the abundance of that good continues to flow
today! In
the weeks and months following the fall, stories began to reach me of
lives that were impacted that day, and lives that were touched in hearing
"my story". I'd like to share a few of them with you. To tell
this first story I have to back up a little to falling off the
cliff. My fall happened so fast that the lads at the top didn't even
know what happened at first. AJ said he heard me hit the ground and
it sounded like a huge wave crashing up on shore. At the same time
he heard the sound, he realized that they don't have big waves like that
in Ireland -- and he knew I had fallen. He looked over the
edge and saw my body on the ground. AJ yelled to Paddy to get help,
and ran down the other side of the cliff to where I lay. Paddy had a
mobile phone, but it wasn't getting reception; so he ran down to find
help. He came across a lady (Jean) with her two boys on the beach
and told them what had happened. Turns out Jean is a trained
physician who taught at one of the colleges in the area, she was able to
help stabilize me until the rescue workers got
there! Jeans
story -- Jean married later in life around 40 I believe it was. She
had a wonderful marriage and husband and they had two boys. While
Jean was pregnant with her second son her husband died suddenly of a heart
attack. In the years following his death Jean would walk those same
cliffs were I fell and think about jumping off -- ending the pain and
frustration of living. The day I fell, and Jean came over to help me
she said it was like I took her place. As she saw me laying there in
a pool of blood all she could see was herself. She said something
changed in her -- I know it was the Holy Spirit doing a work! She
knew in those moments of holding me that she couldn't end her life.
It was as if she "had a whole new lease on life" -- she wanted to live for
the first time in years! Jean later came to visit me in Hawaii after
I returned home, and I was able to share my testimony with her and just
talk about all I am, coming from God. Her life is forever touched by
the wonders of the One And Only Savior! In
itself, falling off a cliff becomes a thrilling story in any circle.
People are captivated and awed that someone could not only live through
it, but walk away -- "perfect." Perfect meaning the only way people
would know about my accident would be my telling them. It's easy to
forget how close I was to dying, and it's easy to forget just how much God
has done. The later being my main focus behind writing this
story. And so, in writing this I want to give God all the
Glory. It was His strength alone that carried me those days in the
hospital, and it is His strength that still carries me today as I continue
to seek His plan. As
to where I am now -- I am helping my home church get a youth group up and
running -- it's been great pouring into kids lives again, and being able
to pour everything God has taught (and is teaching) me into the other
leaders. We're all excited to see what God will do as this group
grows! I am back to cleaning houses part-time again; I had to quit
for a while after my last wrist surgery back in December. The
surgery went really well, so the doctors tell me. I am still in a
cast and looking forward to getting it off in two weeks! Then I'll
start occupational therapy again, and swimming which has been a huge help
in my rehabilitation process. I've also started working in my church
office as "administrative assistant." It's been a wonderful learning
experience; as well as a great way to see everything behind those Sunday
services. Hawaii has started becoming home, and I know I'm here
until God releases me to go -- though it hasn't been easy! I know
I'm right where God wants me for now. I still want to return to
Ireland, and God willing, I will -- sooner rather than later!
"Be
anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with
thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace that
passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ
Jesus." (Philippians
4:6-7)
"For
God so loved the world, "Salvation
is the work of God for man; Link of the
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